It's about that time of the year again when I am reminded of a conversation I had with my dear friend Karl about Valentine's Day. He isn't an ex-flame, as you'd be inclined to imagine with your rose-tinted glasses at this time of the year, and nor is he someone who has left us forever. Karl is currently buried under books completing his PhD in London and thus, he has put a temporary hold on regular correspondence with his friends. 

This article dates back to the conversation I had with him two years ago when I actually learnt of his views on the subject of Valentine's Day. Here's what he had to say: 

“I have a rich heart, but my pocket tells another story. My wallet and money are at loggerheads. This is one of the primary reasons why I like inactive months, where there are no birthday parties or anniversary parties, and I certainly dread February. I dislike this month for one simple reason, the reason being this month plays host to Valentine’s Day. Of all the months, I strongly believe February is one month alone that seems to come back sooner each year than any other month. Why, it was only last February when I showered my girlfriend with presents and I have barely sighed in relief after paying all those credit card bills for the presents I bought my lady love, and guess what? It is February again. I have nothing against expressing love for it is a wonderful emotion. But why do men have to always express love by means of expensive gifts? My girlfriend measures my love for her in direct proportion to the value of the gifts I shower her with; giving little thought as to how these expensive gifts make a deep hole in my pocket – it’s much like the one made by a falling meteor on earth. To make the matters worse, I am reminded of Valentine’s Day by all possible modes of communication months in advance. So try as hard as I do, I cannot erase this day from my memory, and have no choice but to celebrate it.” 

Here’s an interesting take on Valentine’s Day from a guy’s perspective, I had thought to myself. But then, Karl wasn’t done, yet.

“Interestingly, every year when I go to the local market on Valentine’s Day eve, I can’t help but notice how many men around me are buying flowers, balloons and cakes for their special ones. I doubt if all of them are as happy as they seem spending their hard earned money on presents and watching those precious dollar bills disappear forever. Many seem to be seasoned actors like me, who can mask the disappointment of opening their wallet and taking out those dollar bills with a smile. Seeing this scene repeat itself year after year, I can’t help but wonder if this day has become too commercial and has lost some of its significance (people including my girlfriend, believe the inspiration for this philosophy germinates from my habit of being stingy, but that is not the point; though for records, I certainly believe the best place for the money bills is the wallet, where they seem eternally comfortable). But, when I talk about the commercialism of this day, I am also thinking about my fellow sufferers, who spend their hard earned money on presents (and it’s always plural), which could be otherwise utilized towards a more constructive purpose; especially when the prices of everything are notched up for this particular day,” he vented. 

I couldn’t help but empathize with Karl. He was, in a way, echoing my sentiments as a woman, too. Do I like presents? Sure! But I feel Valentine’s Day is like any other day, or to rephrase it, every other day is a Valentine’s Day. We can shower presents on someone any time, but how does this special day evoke an extra dose of the emotion called “love” in us. 

What can be more heart-warming than to make someone realize how important they are to us? Presents are only the means and not the end, which help us achieve our goal of making people happy. I also strongly believe that the worth of the presents do not correspond to the depth of our love for the people we care. When we care for someone, our expressions and our actions convey more than any gift can! We negate the importance of this day if we fight with our loved ones over trivial issues on other days, and save this one day alone to express our love for them. 

Would it not work out better for us if instead of depending on expensive presents to express our love and concern for the people special in our lives, we showered them with a little encouragement, a helping hand, and a listening ear (these can do magic, by the way!) every day of our lives? 

And as for Karl, here are his concluding thoughts on the topic of Valentine’s Day — “While my girlfriend agrees that every day is Valentine’s Day, she is a romantic at heart and wants her Valentine’s Day to be special. So I venture out every Valentine’s Day eve gingerly, holding on to the list of presents for her; consoling myself and my wallet, that though the spirit of making our loved ones feel special continues throughout the year, the ritual of gifting expensive presents in the name of Cupid is restricted to this one day alone.”