“Housefull 3” movie poster.

Film: Housefull 3 

Label: T-Series

Music: Various

Lyrics: Various

We do not know what producer Sajid Nadiadwala was thinking of when he left the music (we think) to his director duo of Farhad-Sajid. Now, they may be skilled writers and decent directors, but, clearly, creating music and co-writing lyrics is definitely not their bowl of biryani.

For one, naming all the ‘composers’ and ‘lyricists’ above would have taken several needless lines, since we are forced to ‘list’ (the correct term, as you will see!) them below anyway.

Before that, all we have to say is that probably for the first time ever in such a big film, the music is so atrocious in all its creative aspects. Correction: There are NO creative aspects! Every song is an exercise on how NOT to make music. And we salute those daring and gutsy recording engineers who actually put this tripe on a recording format!

Another sad and very reprehensible fact is that some good talents have been wasted criminally in the vocals — Anmoll Mallik, Neeti Mohan, Divya Kumar and Kailash Kher. If the film is called “Housefull 3,” the music seems to target a house of fools, which is what the film’s team thinks about we poor music buffs! And we guess everyone knew how beyond bearable the songs were, because no one composer or songwriter dares to take (dis)credit for each!

We have a song here that goes like this: “Dekho chand ko chadh gayi hai charbi / Suraj bhi lagaa bakne Arbi / Iss awesome waale mausam mein / English waali pappi / Pyar ki maa ki aaj se pooja karni hai.” This ‘blasterpiece’ is written by Danis Sabri, Farhad-Sajid and Manoj Yadav and scum-posed by Sharib-Toshi, who are excelling in unmusical products nowadays. It is delivered by Mallik, Kumar, Nakash Aziz, Earl Edgar and Sharib Sabri.

The atrocity called “Taang Uthake,” which sounds like and yet is worse than a zillion such songs in the last many years is sung by Hrishikesh Chury, Mamta Sharma, Madan Shukla, Mika Singh, Mohan and Sohail Sen, who has also made the ‘tune’ with lyrics by Farhad-Sajid, Mamta Sharma (!), Sameer Sen (Sohail’s composer father — what’s he doing here????) and Sanjeev Chaturvedi.

“Fake Ishq,” which almost sounds nice (though it isn’t) in comparison, is sung by Altamash Faridi, Kher and Aziz. This one has music by Tanishk Bagchi with words purveyed by Arafat Mehmood and Sajid-Farhad. Figure it out, and you know Kher makes that ‘nice’ difference!

Then there is an item well below the creative poverty line called “Malamaal” (a term that means bountiful in wealth!), sung by Akira, Kuwar Virk, Singh and Miss Pooja. This song is composed by Singh and Millind (note the extra ‘l’) Gaba with lyrics penned by Farhad-Sajid and Rani Malik. God, from where did this latter poetic hausfrau from Delhi, who wrote romantic lyrics in the ’90s for so many biggies, return here? And what has she actually written in this sorry mess?

Rating: 0/5!!!

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